Addiction, Not Suicide, Killed Robin Williams

This is the title of an op-ed piece that you can read here...
In my heart of hearts I believe this is the truth or at least a piece of it. Depression and any types of addiction go hand in hand.  So what came first the depression or addictive behaviors?  I believe they are both lying dormant and one can feed on the other at the same time or in either order.  I look back at my pre-teen years and remember a scared and depressed girl, sometimes for no reason and no one knew.  I was traveling the country on premier sports teams, crazy outgoing and president of the student council, but on the inside I was frequently sad or scared for no identifiable reason at all.  But I wanted to be something big and in order to do that I had to push my limits.  Alcohol and eventually drugs helped me feel invincible and survive in situations I would have otherwise found impossible.  After nearly over a decade of surviving this way and wondering if it was normal, the addictive behaviors started getting the best of me.  Although I believe the depression and anxiety probably came first,  it is now the reality that I am truly dealing with addiction that causes me to become depressed if I am not physically, mentally and spiritually in a good place every single day.  That sick part of my brain starts wondering,  "Why am I like this?", "Will I ever be free?", "I can't live like this.", and on and on.  If we relapse, we feed this sick part of the brain and it starts to take over our mind again. And sometimes, the sick part wins.  Today I choose to focus on being mentally, physically and spiritually healthy so I can continue to grow the healthy parts of my brain.