Tonight. But I was coming home from the gym, not the bar. And I was not drunk driving. Three years ago at this time I would have been well on my way to a good buzz and you see, I thought I was also the world’s greatest drunk driver. Invincible. Every day I thank the universe that I never physically injured anyone during this incredibly reckless time in my life. Addiction is a horrible thing. It’s the only disease that tries to convince you that you don’t have a disease. I thought my drinking was normal because everyone I surrounded myself with partied like I did, but it didn’t make it right. All I can say is I am completely grateful to be able to look a cop in the eye without fear of going to jail. I have replaced negative addictive behaviors with positive activities. I have overcome some major obstacles that presented themselves when I was most vulnerable. I have started a business to help others overcome addiction and behaviors they continue to do despite the negative consequences. I have changed my life. I no longer need go to bed on New Years Eve knowing that any resolutions I make will fail within a month. Now because I am in recovery, and because I am sober, I can face anything and everything that comes my way. I am grateful that tonight I did not get a ticket for going less than 10 miles over the speed limit. But I am more grateful that I was reminded of how far I have come and the fact that no one else is in danger this evening because of my decisions. Please, be safe tonight, and if you are ready to face your life on life’s terms and need some help, I hope to hear from you.
RealYou Revolution, LLC. is New England's premier resource for cutting edge substance use disorder services. Advanced Intervention - Sober Companions - Recovery Coaches - Family Support Services Case Management -DUI/OUI Support - Anger Management Assistance - Food Addiction -Self Esteem Development - Anxiety Management
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![]() I have had exercise induced asthma my entire life and when I get a cold it stops me in my tracks. I cough so bad that I become scared to move for fear of aggravating it. As someone in recovery who has given up any external chemicals for stress release, exercise is a critical piece of my life. A good workout releases the same chemicals that make us feel good from drinking or drug use. Well, due to the cough, it had basically been a month since my last workout. Here is the deal, I could have done more yoga, I could have lifted weights, but I still struggle with all or nothing, black or white behavior. Regardless of what I should have done, the fact of the matter is I didn’t, and then became faced with the “Getting Started Again” dilemma, as I have been so many times in my life. What I have come to realize is that in the Getting Started phase, I morph back into a young girl, probably about 13 years old who is terrified of letting any of her coaches down. I remember being taken off the field at 14 in the softball world series for dropping a ball. I can’t even count the times I had been yelled at or berated by a coach in all my years playing sports. I was on my way to a new kickboxing class today for day one and the good old motor in my head started up with a vengeance. “Maybe I can start tomorrow”, If I don’t like the vibe there I won’t go back”, “I’m walking 3 miles today isn’t that enough?”. I can’t tell you how close I was to skipping class. But I know better these days. FEAR for me means F#!k Everything And Run, and I am a runner. What I know now is that every day I continue to run, and this applies to anything in life, the more difficult it becomes to get back to where I started. I went into that class today, and the woman at the front desk was rude, I was terrified everyone was in better shape than me, and I was scared I looked stupid, but I smiled and I finished the class. It makes me sad when I think of that little girl who is still playing small in some ways and is scared to push through her fears entirely. It makes me sad that a collegiate athlete could still have so many horrible things to say to herself when it comes to fitness. But now I work on progress and not perfection and that means I address myself with firm compassion. Feelings are not facts. It’s completely ok to be scared, but it’s not ok to run. There is no excuse at this point in the game. Every second I deny myself the opportunity to face a fear I am chipping away at my self worth and digging a great big hole in my self esteem. Now I am good to go back to working out instead of making it two months, or even three of avoiding it. Just remember, as Jack Canfield says, everything you want is on the other side of fear!!! RealYou Revolution, LLC. is New England's premier resource for cutting edge substance use disorder services. Advanced Intervention - Sober Companions - Recovery Coaches - Family Support Services Case Management -DUI/OUI Support - Anger Management Assistance - Food Addiction -Self Esteem Development - Anxiety Managemen ![]() WOW! Kudos to you Kara Sowles for writing an awesome article about how the business world, specifically here high tech companies, can better manage events to include people who do not drink alcohol. Not only does the corporate world exclude those who don’t drink alcohol, but it also encourages members to become involved in world of sex, partying and secrets, while preying upon the young women in the industry, and I am glad it’s being called out. As an Executive Recovery Coach and Interventionist, I see lives where the partying behavior of a spouse who justifies it because he “is supporting the family” wreaks havoc on an entire family unit. I am willing to bet that the majority of people, especially in the tech industry, will not want to consider the non-aloholic options because it shines a light on a truth that they refuse to acknowledge. If they acknowledge it, of course that means that each of them would have to take a closer look at themselves and their own reality of a drinking problem or addictive behaviors. Read Kara's article Alcohol and Inclusivity: Planning Tech Events with Non-Alcoholic Options. RealYou Revolution, LLC. is New England's premier resource for cutting edge substance use disorder services. Advanced Intervention - Sober Companions - Recovery Coaches - Family Support Services - Case Management -DUI/OUI Support - Anger Management Assistance Food Addiction -Self Esteem Development - Anxiety Management Anyone who knows me understands that just because I quit drinking does not mean I hate alcohol or think it should be banned from the universe. There are plenty of people who can enjoy alcohol in a healthy way. I will say that the wreckage I have seen since entering the recovery world does make me view it differently. I also believe the truth is that we as a society are conditioned to drink too much and at times glorify addictive behaviors. This article “How Normal Is Your Drinking” by Daniel Engber is a great read that I highly recommend to everyone!
Traditional signs of alcoholism often provide too little information, too late. Every alcoholic is considered “high functioning” at some point in his or her drinking. For those who drink too much or are on the path, situational awareness can be virtually non-existent. Let me put that in street language for you, drunk people have been known to act like morons, thinking it is completely acceptable behavior in their “unrealities” of “Buzzville”. It’s a common phenomenon to hear someone in recovery relive mortifying drunk-a-logs while shaking their head in disbelief about the behavior they once deemed acceptable. These Live Tweets from a Modern Family Editor sitting behind a trashed airplane passenger are a perfect example. The tweets make me cringe and bring back way too many personal experiences. Apparently because the passenger seems to have a happening life (and a major arrogance issue) she thinks she can’t have a problem. WRONG. So before cheering on that token party animal in your crowd, you may just want to think twice about what they are struggling with behind closed doors, or the inevitability that’s to come.
-Know anyone in Boston who could use cutting edge Intervention or Recovery Support? Call us at 774-329-4393 or email me personally at [email protected] Some people say the only thing they did was drink too much, too often, for too long. When I went into treatment the exact words I heard from numerous people in my life was, “the general consensus is that you overreacted”. My family knew I drank a lot but I don’t think they would have all classified me as an alcoholic. The only person who knew the real severity of the problem was my husband because he knew what happened behind closed doors. The Jellenick Curve is a great resource to understand the general progression of ones addiction. Be warned, the curve always reads left to right, it will never go right to left for more than a short period of time. What this means is once we drink enough to open those neuropathways that crave alcohol, it is very difficult (and many would say impossible) to ever completely shut them off. So many people have addictive tendencies and addictive behaviors but it takes a perfect storm to move into the final stages of alcoholism. We know enough today that many are fortunate to be able to stop well before they become the “homeless guy under the bridge with the brown bag”. Below are just a few of the initial signs that I was in trouble:
· Immediately wanting a drink in my hand at any function · Frequently telling myself “Just one more” · Thinking it was ok to drive after three glasses of wine-because its not · Making excuses to drink, bars after work with coworkers, out to dinner, etc. · Waking up the next morning with guilt about breaking promises to myself · Always being one of the last ones to leave the party · My husband starting to watch/comment about my drinking at gatherings · Switching from hard alcohol to beer only, to wine only, then to hard alcohol only because it had less calories For more information on how to overcome addiction of any kind call 774-329-4393. I have always wanted pink hair. In high school I knew my parents would never allow it, and then after 18 I heard if I dyed it getting a job would be virtually impossible. So now, I’m 34 with my own recovery coach business, showing the world how to freely be whom they really are, and I am still scared to have pink hair. “What if people think I’m not intelligent and professional enough? What if they don’t take me seriously?" And there you have it, that very paranoid, fearful, judgmental voice that got me drinking and numbing my feelings in the first place. What the HELL!? Why is it still there? I am so pissed off that I still have to deal with her! The truth is, while I have made so much progress, until we are dead, we are never cured from being human. And this is where I have to remind myself of the Cherokee Legend of Two Wolves posted below. Each day we are faced with decisions all day long. As humans the reality of an internal battle between love and fear is inescapable. I continued to choose fear over loving and trusting my true self and knowing that I will be all right if pink hair is how I choose to express myself. I remind myself that the people who have an issue with my pink hair is saying something about them and nothing about me. So I will be getting my pink hair extensions despite any fearful voices. I will feed love and I will feed recovery.
Cherokee Legend of Two Wolves An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.” |
about the master coachDanielle, the Founder & Master Coach of RealYou Revolution, is a woman in long term recovery with a passion for helping others overcome their own personal demons – whatever they may be.
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