I never hesitate to admit that I probably initially got sober for the wrong reasons. I figured I could be even better at my job, and it would be easier to aim for perfection in all areas without the distraction of my drinking. One huge area that I wanted perfection in was my body. Its also worth mentioning that eating and weight disorders are directly related to addiction issues. My particular theory was if I quit drinking I would never wakeup hung-over, and therefore never skip the gym, or have anything other than a consistent, amazing workout. I figured I would eat nothing but leafy greens and power proteins and ease my way into a size 2 jeans in no time. So I’m sure you know what’s coming next…the whole…it didn’t play out that way….and it soooooo didn’t. In my first year of recovery I gained 10 pounds and continued to stuff my face with sugar and simple carbs. Before I quit drinking I prided myself on the fact that I NEVER liked sweets. I would go around touting, “Oh, I’m not a sweets person.” That’s just because I was consuming the sugar equivalent of two pints of Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream every night in wine, vodka, or tequila. I was absolutely a sweets person but I didn’t realize it was all coming through my alcohol!
If you are ready to cry your eyes out because Jan 1 was going to be the end of your drinking and the beginning of your new body, please read on! The good news is your body will be healing over time on levels you cannot begin to understand and in ways you never even thought of (adrenals, hormones, cortisol, serotonin, dopamine, etc.). The bad news is just like every other part of an addict’s world; it won’t ever seem soon enough for you. What I do know in dealing with addiction is that my body, mind, and spirit had a whole lot of healing to do, and still does. When I was finally so determined to get sober, everything else had to come last even if it meant a pint of cookie dough ice cream was a necessity instead of drinking.
I am in my third year of recovery now and have finally been able to see with acute awareness how sugar and simple carbs make me feel horrible, not just immediately after consumption, but even for days after. I am also leveling out as far as truly understanding what type of workouts my body needs. I was a college athlete who just assumed I needed to continue pounding my body. What I have come to understand is that when I work out that hard I eat double the food to make up for it. After years of brutal self-talk and the “no pain no gain” approach, I am learning that my body thanks me when I use the softer approach of yoga, running, some weights, and lighter foods. When I take the time to meditate in the morning or even to sit and feel what my body needs, I am better able to address it accordingly. None of this was possible with alcohol in my life and not really even in super early recovery.
For me, dealing with addiction and every other aspect of my life now is about doing the inside job first, and having the patience for the outside stuff to follow. The goal is to have a loving and healthy dialogue with my body instead of just pounding it into the pavement to look good. Something else that has helped in my understanding of addiction, is that typically when my addict mind thinks I am taking a shortcut, it ends up that path is actually the long and painful one. Choosing the slow and steady way to heal my body is finally paying off.
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Tonight on the news there was a report about 1 in 10 binge drinkers only being "problem drinkers" and not "alcoholic". As I have always said, in the end for me, I was sick of trying to "define" if I was or wasn't an alcoholic. It was about me knowing that I deserved more from the world and the world deserved more from me. Forget stats and definitions, each and every one of us knows deep down if we are being %100 honest with ourselves or not. For me, regardless of everything I lost in early sobriety, I still was able to wake up (for the first time in my life) knowing I was true to myself. It didn't matter what worked or didn't work for anyone else. The lies and justifications I told myself were NOT working towards me living to my highest potential. In my mind, that is addiction, as Tommy Rosen says "Any behavior that you continue to engage in despite the negative consequences that the behavior leaves in its wake". And that's accurate enough for me. People can call it what they want, and they can also choose to exist for their entire life in a fog. But I have decided that's not for me, and I couldn't be more grateful that I took that leap of faith.
If you are looking for help on an intervention, or learning how to overcome addiction, call or email us today! 774-329-4393 Danielle@realyourevolution.com
about the master coach
Danielle, the Founder & Master Coach of RealYou Revolution, is a woman in long term recovery with a passion for helping others overcome their own personal demons – whatever they may be.