Tough Times? Feel Better Instantly!

I’ve kept no secrets about how difficult the last year has been for me after a miscarriage, separation, and uncertainty of a marriage. And oh yes I am a severe codependent recovering from addiction with little idea how to love myself without external validation.
            The reality of the human condition is this; pain is inevitable, suffering IS more avoidable.  But no matter how much I read, write, pray, meditate, work a program, yadayada, the fact of the matter is I’ve had to process feelings.  And sometimes, there is nothing to do but feel horrible or cry my face off.  Before recovery, I would wake up dreading the actions of the night before.  Now I wake up with a terrible lump in my throat like “Oh yeah, this is my reality today and it’s nothing like what I envisioned.” And yes I can write gratitude lists and tell myself it will get better, but there are very few things I have found to do in an instant that can shift my mood like being of service to others.  One of the most amazing gifts of being in such prolonged emotional pain is the ridiculous amount of compassion you develop towards others. Being of service is the single most efficient way to get out of our own minds while positively impacting others.  Is this not a total win/win??!! When people hear “service to others” they think volunteering at a shelter or donating clothes and food to a local center, but the truth is we can be of service over and over throughout our day, every day.  So to jumpstart you in vibrating at a higher frequency tomorrow, I have started a very basic list of ways you can be of service to others, IMMEDIATELY:

1. Call someone you know who has been struggling and tell them you have been thinking of them and wondering how they are.  If you are limited time wise, call hands-free from the car or just explain at the beginning of the call that you only have a few minutes but needed to reach out.  Here is the key, JUST LISTEN TO THEM, don’t try to fix ANYTHING.  Just hold a safe space for them to feel their feelings.
2. SMILE at a perfect stranger today.  In fact, lets get crazy, see how many perfect strangers you can look in the eye and smile at in one day! Need to be held accountable? Make it a contest with a friend!
3. TEXT someone that you love them.
4. Hold a door for someone or let a car out in traffic.
5. Give your hard working lunch or dinner server a few extra bucks.  Chances are they may need it more than you!
6. Keep blank note cards around the house and write to someone about how special they are. Snail mail can be a nice surprise these days. Seriously, just do it and see how good you feel when you drop it in the mail…
7. Compliment someone!! Why not tell EVERY PERSON you encounter today something positive about them from a smile, to the shoes they are wearing, to the way they handled a particular situation.
8. Choose NOT to forward a negative Facebook post so your followers can avoid one additional negative vibe in their day.
9. If someone engages you in gossip, bring the conversation somewhere else, JUST FOR TODAY.  Don’t let someone be spoken of today if they aren’t there to present their side or defend themselves!
10. And when all else fails, just stop in the moment of suffering and ask the universe, "How can I be of service in this moment?" Something WILL come to you!

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