Tommy Rosen is one of my favorite people in the world of recovery and understanding how to overcome addiction. Tommy has really advanced the idea of a phased approach to recovering from addiction, which he terms “Recovery 2.0”. In this model, the first phase of recovery is putting down the drink, drug, or other harmful habit that has taken over your world. The second phase is working to move out of a state of “Dis-ease” with areas of your life. I strongly believe the majority of Americans are in this state even without substance abuse issues and this is why recovery is beneficial to everyone. The Huffington Post published this awesome and easy to understand article by Rosen, “How Is Yoga Beneficial to People on a Path of Recovery From Addiction?” It’s a must read if you care about bringing your life to the next level!
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As we continue to educate the general public about different types of addiction and how to overcome addiction, it is increasingly obvious that teen athletes are at high risk for substance abuse. While risk of injury and pain pills is a huge factor, there is also something about being a high school athlete and the atmosphere it can produce that makes these teens more likely to engage in partying. Perhaps it has something to do with competition and wanting to be the best, or the mindset that we are invincible, I don’t know. Being a great athlete gave me instant praise and gratification, a response I became all too comfortable with. After watching this important piece by WCVB on teen athlete addiction in Massachusetts, I remember that addiction and substance abuse is not so new to teen athletes, opiates and heroin have just made it more difficult to turn a blind eye to underage partying. We also know that underage partying increases the risk of addiction. Regardless, parents need to understand these risks to be in the best position possible for prevention.
Some people say the only thing they did was drink too much, too often, for too long. When I went into treatment the exact words I heard from numerous people in my life was, “the general consensus is that you overreacted”. My family knew I drank a lot but I don’t think they would have all classified me as an alcoholic. The only person who knew the real severity of the problem was my husband because he knew what happened behind closed doors. The Jellenick Curve is a great resource to understand the general progression of ones addiction. Be warned, the curve always reads left to right, it will never go right to left for more than a short period of time. What this means is once we drink enough to open those neuropathways that crave alcohol, it is very difficult (and many would say impossible) to ever completely shut them off. So many people have addictive tendencies and addictive behaviors but it takes a perfect storm to move into the final stages of alcoholism. We know enough today that many are fortunate to be able to stop well before they become the “homeless guy under the bridge with the brown bag”. Below are just a few of the initial signs that I was in trouble:
· Immediately wanting a drink in my hand at any function · Frequently telling myself “Just one more” · Thinking it was ok to drive after three glasses of wine-because its not · Making excuses to drink, bars after work with coworkers, out to dinner, etc. · Waking up the next morning with guilt about breaking promises to myself · Always being one of the last ones to leave the party · My husband starting to watch/comment about my drinking at gatherings · Switching from hard alcohol to beer only, to wine only, then to hard alcohol only because it had less calories For more information on how to overcome addiction of any kind call 774-329-4393. One of my favorite gurus, Robin Sharma, has talked about his Forced Optimization Strategy (FOS), forcing ourselves into doing the things we need to do in the beginning of forming a new habit (when it is most difficult) instead of relying on willpower. As an example he suggests hiring a personal trainer 3 times a week to come knock on your door and get you working out. There is no way to fail here. I believe recovery coaching and sober companions are exactly the same. When you commit and invest in having someone who has battled and overcome addictive behaviors hold you accountable and help get you where you need to be, it is far more difficult to fail. I don’t care if you think you aren’t exhibiting the signs of alcoholism according to a survey you saw online. If there is something in your life that you feel is holding you back from reaching your highest potential, its time to get in recovery mode. I say it time and time again; everyone needs a therapist and a coach if they really want to live life to its fullest…one to deal with the past and the other to get you where you want to go. What are you waiting for!?!
The SAMHSA working definition of recovery is “A process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.” Everyone in the world is recovering some something if they choose to be, and I strongly believe that everyone should be!! As I have said time and time again, even if it’s not a drug addiction or alcoholism you may have a different way of distracting yourself from being completely honest and living your best life. AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! So, in honor of and as my official kickoff to Recovery Month, I am posting a list of some of the primary things recovery means to me and a recovery coach.
Recovery Means: 1. Not blaming others for circumstances in my life. 2. Being 100% available physically and emotionally for the people I love. 3. Alleviating chaos in my life. 4. Losing my keys 80% less frequently than I did before. 5. Consistently working on being a better human being. 6. Realizing that 99% of what others think of me is none of my business. 7. Eliminating the outer reach for inner peace. 8. Working to be in the present moment because it’s all there is. 9. Practicing (and yes it takes a hell of a lot of practice) self-love. 10. Approaching myself and the world with open mindedness and compassion. 11. Having a (no longer chemically fueled) blast. 12. Laughing and smiling as frequently as possible. I have always wanted pink hair. In high school I knew my parents would never allow it, and then after 18 I heard if I dyed it getting a job would be virtually impossible. So now, I’m 34 with my own recovery coach business, showing the world how to freely be whom they really are, and I am still scared to have pink hair. “What if people think I’m not intelligent and professional enough? What if they don’t take me seriously?" And there you have it, that very paranoid, fearful, judgmental voice that got me drinking and numbing my feelings in the first place. What the HELL!? Why is it still there? I am so pissed off that I still have to deal with her! The truth is, while I have made so much progress, until we are dead, we are never cured from being human. And this is where I have to remind myself of the Cherokee Legend of Two Wolves posted below. Each day we are faced with decisions all day long. As humans the reality of an internal battle between love and fear is inescapable. I continued to choose fear over loving and trusting my true self and knowing that I will be all right if pink hair is how I choose to express myself. I remind myself that the people who have an issue with my pink hair is saying something about them and nothing about me. So I will be getting my pink hair extensions despite any fearful voices. I will feed love and I will feed recovery.
Cherokee Legend of Two Wolves An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.” Could the end of heroin prohibition and criminalization be one of the solutions to combating drug abuse and saving thousands of lives? There is staggering evidence that throwing addicts in jail without focusing on treatment is only exacerbating the current epidemic. But what happens when our own law enforcement officers are so disturbed by what’s going on day in and day out that they too are actually pushing towards a more compassionate approach to understanding addiction and getting people well? You get fascinating, spot-on editorials like this one by former New Jersey State Police Officer Jack Cole.
You may recall the 1990’s campaign “D.A.R.E. to Keep Kids Off Drugs” and the program that accompanied it. Ironically in the 6th grade D.A.R.E. play, I played the bad chick who peer pressured everyone into drinking and using drugs. I don’t know if anything would have been different had I known the magnitude of the mental health issues amongst my ancestors. One side of the family had a history of alcoholism and the other untreated eating disorders, which I now understand are virtually one in the same. I do know that for someone with a rebellious addict mind, programs like D.A.R.E. only made me want to experiment more. Some things like stages of alcoholism or drug addiction statistics were perhaps a bit premature for what I was ready to listen to at 12. I also know that had I understood the neuroscience of why drug or alcohol abuse in someone under 25 affects the brain in a drastically different way than that of someone older, it would have caught my attention. Neuroscience tells us that if you take someone with possible addictive tendencies and introduce them to substances at a young age, their brain will essentially light up those neuropathways which can lead to craving, addictive behaviors, and substance abuse. There is no longer room for the, “it won’t happen to me” denial, because the proof is in the CT scans. The brain science that aids us in understanding addiction continues to catch my eye today. We need to start being more specific with kids so they understand HOW they are harming themselves from the first time they touch a substance. Read some fascinating information here on The Effects of Drugs and Alcohol on the Adolescent Brain.
People dealing with addiction or recovering from addiction do not always consider the power of recovery language. The way we speak to each other within a 12 step meeting or support group is very different than the way we should speak with the rest of the world. As we have seen so much with bullying in recent years, words do matter. As an "addict" or an "alcoholic", it sounds like I am still in the midst of my disease. While there is no cure, I do believe I am in recovery which according to SAMHSA means, "A process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self directed life, and strive to reach their full potential." Now who doesn't that apply to!?! So in my work as a recovery coach and as a sober companion, I do try to get in the habit of saying, "Hello, my name is Danielle and I am a person in long term recovery". Stay tuned for some resources on recovery language training. For more information on the importance of recovery language when dealing with addiction, read this new editorial in the journal of Substance Abuse. If you or someone you know is struggling with any type of addiction, please give us a call at 774-329-4393.
This is the title of an op-ed piece that you can read here...
In my heart of hearts I believe this is the truth or at least a piece of it. Depression and any types of addiction go hand in hand. So what came first the depression or addictive behaviors? I believe they are both lying dormant and one can feed on the other at the same time or in either order. I look back at my pre-teen years and remember a scared and depressed girl, sometimes for no reason and no one knew. I was traveling the country on premier sports teams, crazy outgoing and president of the student council, but on the inside I was frequently sad or scared for no identifiable reason at all. But I wanted to be something big and in order to do that I had to push my limits. Alcohol and eventually drugs helped me feel invincible and survive in situations I would have otherwise found impossible. After nearly over a decade of surviving this way and wondering if it was normal, the addictive behaviors started getting the best of me. Although I believe the depression and anxiety probably came first, it is now the reality that I am truly dealing with addiction that causes me to become depressed if I am not physically, mentally and spiritually in a good place every single day. That sick part of my brain starts wondering, "Why am I like this?", "Will I ever be free?", "I can't live like this.", and on and on. If we relapse, we feed this sick part of the brain and it starts to take over our mind again. And sometimes, the sick part wins. Today I choose to focus on being mentally, physically and spiritually healthy so I can continue to grow the healthy parts of my brain. |
about the master coachDanielle, the Founder & Master Coach of RealYou Revolution, is a woman in long term recovery with a passion for helping others overcome their own personal demons – whatever they may be.
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