There are numerous ways that those of us with addictive behaviors and tendencies continue to self-sabotage, long after a drink or drug is out of the picture. One such way is when we over promise and under deliver. If you do this, make the commitment to yourself to stop IMMEDIATELY, like this minute. Stop pretending that people can’t see through your BS. Doing this is a direct reflection of your self-worth and how you show up to life. If you make commitments and don’t stick to your word, if you say you will be somewhere at a certain time and show up late, you are really saying, “ Well, self, I don’t think we are worthy of follow through, so therefore nothing else in our life is either.” Let’s also take into consideration respect for the other parties involved. Your word is your bond not only to others but also to yourself. I have known many people working on recovery who are chronically late or don’t do what they say they will do. Your inability to set healthy boundaries with yourself and others such as “ I need to go now or I’m going to be late for my plans” is really giving a big fat F-You to the person you are late to.
So how do we fix this you ask? Make the commitment from this point forward to under promise and over deliver, and work on it. When we are not in active addiction it is imperative for the motor between our ears to quiet down and slow down. Once we slow ourselves down, it becomes easier to maintain a schedule and know when to say “yes” and when to say “NO”. If it’s not a “Hell Yes” it should be a “Hell NO”! You can do it! Progress, not perfection!
RealYou Revolution, LLC. is New England's premier resource for cutting edge substance use disorder services.
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about the master coach
Danielle, the Founder & Master Coach of RealYou Revolution, is a woman in long term recovery with a passion for helping others overcome their own personal demons – whatever they may be.